It's been a while

It has definitely been quite a while since i last posted... i thought i would fill u in....
Things are kinda hectic over here but manageable. My best friend thinks i have made a mistake by getting back together with Cody but i don't. I'm perfectly content with my decision... anyway other than that i have decided to live with my dad this summer i think. and i have dyed my hair back to it's natural blond color lol. but not much has really happened. my teachers at school think i am depressed for some odd reason but I'm not sure why... ya i have barely spoken a word in almost 2 weeks and have been sleeping constantly but is that being depressed???... my psychologist thinks it's because I've lost people who were very important to me but i dont really know if that's it... who knows all i know is i havent spoken at all today except for over text to my bf but i am really tired so i think it's time for a nap lol. i will post again in a couple day or maybe tomorro if i am at my computer

as you already know

mine and jon's relationship is over, including friendship now. i will no longer be going to see him or talk to him on that note. we are no longer friends.... but i guess thats just how things were meant to be right now...i'll miss him and his family but who knows maybe i'll come into contact with them again one day when i've straightened out my life....

done trying

i am done trying with him! i try to be friends with him! i try to be nice to him and all he does is turn around and treat me like crap. he toys with my feelings and says he "misses me." BULL CRAP!!!! i am done putting forth effort into a friendship that isnt working. maybe jon and i were just one of those relationships that start and then stop talking/ being friends when it ends. i hate to admit that but i feel like its what he wants. he hurt me so badly last night and i am done. if he wants to be friends he needs to put forth some effort and contact me from now on. i am not going to contact him any longer, and if he has a problem with me and his mom/family having a relationship then thats his problem because his family has welcomed me in since day one and still now even though we are not together anymore... if jon wants to be friends he needs to prove that he is worth my time.

pregnant???

so i hope you all had a great Easter... i know i did!

so an update on my pregnancy is kinda scary... so i went in today to get a whole bunch of tests done and they said that my blood test came out negative and that im not pregnant but i have an ovarian cyst n my uterus. which isnt cancerous but that's what the spot was on the ultrasound... i go in again friday to see if i need to have it removed or if it's fine just to leave it. thats also whats been causing me to feel sick... just lovely right?

new boyfriend ^_^

so i have a new boyfriend and he knows about my possible pregnancy and he says he doesnt care. he still loves me and wants to be with me. he said he'll even help if i keep the baby. On monday i have an appt. with my ob-gyn and they will give me a pelvic exam because she thinks that it's a false negative

Pregnant

so it's basically for sure that i am pregnant.... Fricken lovely! I cant believe this! why now?! why me?! i dont get it! well i do i just cant believe this!
i was the one who made the decision though... but it takes 2 to tango so it's just as much my fault as it is his... JUST LOVELY! the father of my child is not even dating me anymore! this is not how i wanted to start out my life! i hate this! But i did make the decision so i have to take responsibility for my actions...

i have a question

is there so such thing as a false negative on a pregnancy test? because i still have not had my period and it's been almost 4 weeks since it was supposed to start. i went into plan parenthood and got a test but it came out negative... so is there so such thing as a false negative?

happy

so today i am going to go see this guy who i really like and i think he is going to maybe ask me out! ^_^ i am very happy right now! my life is now amazing! (surprisingly) i cant wait till 3pm

Falling to peices!

i am so sick of this! UGH!!! i am going through hell at the worst possible stage it could be! so basically my best friend slept with my ex boyfriend and then lied about it for about 4 days and then i found out from him! then i find out that my ex bf also has cancer and has very little time left to live! Fricken lovely! just what i need to find out!

Antoinette - call me

look i never meant i didnt want to be friends, you are my sister. you didnt cross the line he did. i am done with him that's all i can say... please do not tell him any of this. i'll tell him when i am ready to talk to him again... look i am sorry for missunderstanding and correct me if i am wrong but i have heard from reliable scources that you two slept together or that you WANTED to sleep with him. look give me a call so we can talk please

AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGH! i am so DONE! i am done with the fighting! i am done with the stress! i am done with everything that makes me feel this way! i am pissed off to the max and stressed more than i could say! i am so sick of being angry. i think i am done. i think its time i move on with my life and get on with everything else. no more drama. no more stress. no more anything! i am moving on! i deserve more than to be treated like this! if you are my friend than i need to know the truth about everything if you are not then see ya. but i refuse to sit back and be treat like (to put it bluntly) to be treated like shit! i am sick of it! i am not putting up with anymore drama! i am not putting up with anymore fights! i am not putting up with any bull shit! I deserve more than this!

I am not trying to be a bitch i am just sick of it! the drama with james is driving me up the freakin wall! i know you're pregnant so i can understand (this post does not go directly to you it's to everyone who is treating me like crap and everyone who is being moody to me) look hun, i need to know. if you have done anything with cody besides what happened at del valle...
you both have promised me you wouldnt see eachother alone unless i was there! and that really upsets me! i dont care if it was even 5 minutes! alot can happen in that ammount of time! no more being with him alone! same goes for him no more being with you alone! you would understand where i am coming from if you were going through what i am. you have no idea how much it hurts to know that MY BOYFRIEND cheated on me with MY BEST FRIEND! you have no idea! how would you feel if i went and kissed john or max?! when you like both of them! i wouldnt do that! i know it wasnt entirely you i have told cody the same thing. but enough is enough. we need to sit down and have a heart to heart if the 3 of us want to stay friends. i love you toni but i cant just sit back and watch my boyfriend fall in love with my best friend! it's killing me! I LOVE HIM! and he's falling in love with you! i cant stand it!