Thursday, December 24, 2009

wow!

i know its been about forever and a day since i've posted anything. but its been a longtime since i've been on any website besides facebook! lol!

its hard to belive that this time last yr i was dating jon! lol! i have had 2 bf's since then but right now im with Edward. ^_^ he mkes me very happy.

i also finally got my license! which i am very very happy about

Saturday, May 23, 2009

life

life is a road of confusion, pain, and happiness. sometimes pain opens a door of love and sometimes confusion opens a door of understandng and sometimes happiness opens a brand new door of pain. but you have to go through pain to be happy, you have to go through confusion to understand and you have to go through both to be happy. It's life... you have to deal with it... but i've learned that no matter what you go through there's always a silver lining. Every pain, every hurt, every cut, every bruise it will always heal with time... i may be upset. i may be unhappy, but that does not mean i will give up. it does not mean my life is over. it means it's time for a new beginning and time to start over. i have lost alot of people over this past year but it just made me realize who my true friends are and who are the fakes.... i have lost an entire family because of my ignorance but it made me realize who i really am and who i want to be. I have a new beginning, a fresh start and i am going to take advantage of it. just because i am upset is no reason to give up. i will be ok in time... i will be happy in time... i just have to get used to the fact that these people are no longer in my life....

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Change of plans

so as you have probably noticed i havent posted much lately.... well thats because i have been living with my daddy in antioch... yes that is correct you heard me right. i am no longer living in blissful perfect danville... i am living in the ghetto antioch! ugh! but oh well i love my daddy so its worth it. i will be in town till friday the 22 then i am on my way back home. my plans have definatly changed but oh well....

Friday, May 1, 2009

boring

so i havent had much of an interesting life lately.... my life is kinda spiraling downhill and i cant seem to find the strength to stop it but oh well i can deal...i've been at the bottom of the hill before... i'm used to it... i really miss a few people who are currently not in my life but i can't do anything about it. that's nasically all that is going on... i'm currently depressed and bored out of my sane mind.... haha

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's been a while

It has definitely been quite a while since i last posted... i thought i would fill u in....
Things are kinda hectic over here but manageable. My best friend thinks i have made a mistake by getting back together with Cody but i don't. I'm perfectly content with my decision... anyway other than that i have decided to live with my dad this summer i think. and i have dyed my hair back to it's natural blond color lol. but not much has really happened. my teachers at school think i am depressed for some odd reason but I'm not sure why... ya i have barely spoken a word in almost 2 weeks and have been sleeping constantly but is that being depressed???... my psychologist thinks it's because I've lost people who were very important to me but i dont really know if that's it... who knows all i know is i havent spoken at all today except for over text to my bf but i am really tired so i think it's time for a nap lol. i will post again in a couple day or maybe tomorro if i am at my computer

Monday, April 20, 2009

as you already know

mine and jon's relationship is over, including friendship now. i will no longer be going to see him or talk to him on that note. we are no longer friends.... but i guess thats just how things were meant to be right now...i'll miss him and his family but who knows maybe i'll come into contact with them again one day when i've straightened out my life....

Saturday, April 18, 2009

done trying

i am done trying with him! i try to be friends with him! i try to be nice to him and all he does is turn around and treat me like crap. he toys with my feelings and says he "misses me." BULL CRAP!!!! i am done putting forth effort into a friendship that isnt working. maybe jon and i were just one of those relationships that start and then stop talking/ being friends when it ends. i hate to admit that but i feel like its what he wants. he hurt me so badly last night and i am done. if he wants to be friends he needs to put forth some effort and contact me from now on. i am not going to contact him any longer, and if he has a problem with me and his mom/family having a relationship then thats his problem because his family has welcomed me in since day one and still now even though we are not together anymore... if jon wants to be friends he needs to prove that he is worth my time.