it's over

He ended Tuesday night and i feel like crap. ever since then the room has been spinning and i feel like everything is a dream. i felt sick to my stomach this morning and threw up at school because (according to my doctor) i am having an emotional breakdown but i'll deal i guess i already miss him and its only been 2 days

LOSING MY SANITY!!!

why am i letting this get to me so much!? i dont get it! ugh!!! love is so confusing! he says he loves me then turns around and barely talks to me! oh ya one measly conversation in 6 days! what is happening to him?! he is not the boy i fell in love with months ago! oh whatever if he's going to be done then i guess i'm going to have to be when he says it's over. if he says it. idk whats happening right now but i guess i'm going to find out

UUGGHH!!!!

i love him so much but i'm starting to get really hurt. i feel so lost and confused! he hasnt called me in 3 days! DAMN! i hate this! what did i do wrong!? i've been hounding him about calling me and still nothing! i've called his mom, his brother, the house phone, and his cell and he ignores it! the only words i have heard from him in 3 days is "i'm watchin tv right now i'll call later if i get a chance" and he never called me back!!!! i am feeling so hurt that i actually cried myself to sleep last night!!!!! Damnit damnit damnit! i am so flippin frustrated i cant stand it!

E.R. Trip

so i had to go to the E.R. last night because i was having severe abdominal pain in my lower right side of my stomach and back. it turns out i have a ovarian cyst on one of my ovaries. oh my god that trip took so much out of me! the iv in my arm left a bruise and a few red marks because they had to stick me more than once cause they couldn't find my vein! it hurt so bad! then i had to drink this nasty dye stuff that tasted like soap and flat sprite! YUCK! my boyfriend said it was the most disgusting thing he had ever tasted and yes he was right it was horrible! i ended up throwing it up! YUCK! once again! but i am home now and i feel much better but if the cyst doesnt take care of itself within a week then i have to get it surgically removed! yikes!

He's changed my life(FORGET THAT I WAS WRONG)

i never thought i would see the day that i became happy again... he makes me happier than i have ever been! my life has completely turned around thanks to him! he has showed me that i can trust myself and the people around me! My life has dramatically changed but for the better! i honestly never thought i would say this but i think i have fallen for him. i think i may have fallen in love with him! he means more to me than words can even express! when he told me he loved me for the first time i felt like he truly meant it. and when i said it back his eyes glowed with excitement and happiness. This picture was taken sometime in December. It was like our 3rd kiss i think but it felt like the 1st. Haha! His dog Tonka is looking at us like "what the HECK?! HAHA! i love tonka! but i love Jon more! :) He makes me feel so flawless and perfect when i am around him i love it!

Little Trouble Maker!

So the past couple of days i spent at my daddy's house. I basically relaxed all of Wednesday and Thursday. But today was a handful! oh my Goodness!!! my 3 year old baby sister was good most of the day until she started to get tired... O.o

so she decided that while i was half asleep she was going to take the red nail polish and paint both feet entirely! i heard something break and walked into the kitchen to see red nail polish bottle broken and her feet cover in dry red polish from earlier! i had to strip her down and throw her in the tub to scrub her feet off. Oh lord! oh and not to mention she got it all over the carpet as well! this definatly taught me you cant leave a 3 year old alone for more than a few seconds. oh and all of this happened within the course of 10 minutes! i have no idea how she got the nail polish off the top shelf but she did... oh my! i will never do that again! i love my sister but she needs to learn to stay out of stuff!!! >:(

anyway after the day was almost over Toni came to pick me up from my dad's house and we went back to her place for a movie and then i went home. but ya i had fun. it was stressful but definatly worth it cause i love my sister and i would do anything for her.

I feel horrible!

so i have this boyfriend. His name is Jon. He is the oldest of many brothers. 5 to be exact. no sisters just boys. see he's alot younger than myself. He's 14 and i just turned 17. it's about a 2 1/2 year difference. see we both lied to his mom and told her i just turned 16 but that was a big mistake see i went to their house today not expecting jon to be there and was going to talk to his mom(Dana) alone. i had completely forgot what time it was and when i looked at my watch it was 320 and realized "OH NO! jon will be home!" but i was already there. so when they pulled up i was going to pull her aside and tell her my real age anyway but unexpectedly she knew before i could even say anything. 1st thing a isaid was "why is jon not getting out of the car?" and i was laughing. then she says "Oh maybe it's cause he knows i'm mad about the fact you lied to me and told me you were 16 not 17." i felt so bad! i wanted to tell her myself before she found out from my cousin. but stupid me forgot about it. we kinda ended up laughing about it but i understand that she is still upset with both of us and i dont blame her. in her words "telling the truth is much better than lying because the consiquence isn't as rough" honestly though she's right we should've told the truth to begin with. I feel so bad extrememly bad and i pary and hope she forgives me.

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Dana,
I truly am sorry for lying. I feel terrible and i'm sure Jon does too. Honestly the only reason we lied was because we knew you most likely wouldn't let us date. But I only lied because i truly care about Jon and he truly cares about me :) i just hope you'll forgive me for everything and i apologize greatly for what we did i just can't get it out of my head so i thought i'd write about it Haha! well once again i am sorry
sincerely,
Isabella